D: Back in Black


Ok, I hmm’d and hahhh’d a bit over the post title “Back in Black”, because deep down, I really wanted to believe that I’m above using a cliche’d AC/DC song as the introduction for my [long awaited, I’m sure] return. But I’m not. Or rather, it just seemed appropriate given the photo I am going to share in this post.

Let me first explain my absence.  As some of you may recall, in May, T. started a new job where WordPress was blocked by her internet filter (the horror!!). With no T.,  writing seemed like wearing one of those “best friend” heart-shaped necklaces you got when you were a kid that you were supposed to break in half and share with your bestest.  Are you following? Now say you lost the other half of the necklace and still chose to wore your half even though your bestest didn’t have the other half. Isn’t that sad? That’s what blogging sans T. felt like.

Anyhow, come July I decided I needed to make a little change in my life and so I ended my 6 year relationship. Bam! If you ever need a change, that’s one way to do it. I spent a couple of weeks picking up the pieces (I mean literally, picking up the pieces…my ex was live-in so I had to pack up all of his stuff, change his addresses, etc.) and then I jetted off to Chicago in August for Lollapallooza, where I ate, walked, and sat in piles of dirt watching live music. During this time, I also started seeing a real champ of a guy from my work. I won’t go in to too much detail, but I will say that he makes me molto happy.

Actually, let me delve into a little more detail on this new relationship, seeing how my contribution to this blog is supposed to relate to nutrition and exercise, while twestie brings the smarts and stuff. You might be wondering (or you very well might not be, that’s cool too) how my breakup affected my weight. In the weeks before I ended my relationship, I lost a bit of weight. In the weeks following my breakup, I didn’t exercise and ate junk (but on a terrible schedule) and lost a bit more weight, bringing me to my lowest weight ever (140.2). Since then I’ve resumed exercising and the scale has crept back up to the low 150s (uncomfy!!!). I’m currently back into the 140s, but barely and it’s a struggle. I’ll get there though.

I can’t blame my new relationship for my weight gain, though. The new guy I’m seeing is a very healthy eater and works out regularly. In fact, if I followed his diet plan with girl-adjusted portions, I’d probably be 130lbs by now. I suppose in part, the weight gain is relationship-related, since I am joy-eating. Or maybe my body is preparing for hiberation. If that’s the case, I should let my boss know.

I will also say that buying new bedding, a new shower curtain, a new couch and loveseat and a new TV are fantastic ways of reminding yourself that you are a grown-up when you are feeling like a nomadic 7 year old post-breakup (this relates to me couch-surfing during the first week post-breakup…and props to T. for letting me crash with her on break-up night especially, even if her dog did try and mash my pancreas with his tiny paws).

Ok, so back to the present. Inspired by my voyage to Chicago, I booked a trip to Las Vegas with 10 girlfriends (no Twestie 😦 ) from which I returned last Sunday. Las Vegas in and of itself was kind of like a giant, neverending freak-show. Too many people, too many lights, but something you have to see at least once. Mostly, the trip led to some major inward reflection on my part, where body-image is concerned. We went out every night to a different club, and sometimes I made it home feeling OK about myself, and sometimes I made it home almost in tears because I’d caught a glimpse of my leg in a mirror and thought I looked fat compared to the other girls. I have no deep insight to offer about how I overcame this self-assault, because I’m still struggling with it, but I did want to share a before and after picture with you all of me and one of my best friends, L., 5 years ago and last weekend.

The before image. L&D, 2005.

The After image. D&L, 2010.

Until next time…eat your fruits & veggies!!

D.

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